A Retreat in Mindfulness - January 29, 2007

I participated in my first Buddhist retreat this past weekend. I can't say that I've changed in any way, but it was a powerful and moving experience. It has inspired me to challenge myself further by participating in a longer silent retreat at a Buddhist monastery.

The power of the silence was unexpected and calming. Had people been chattering, as people are wont to do, the peace and harmony of the retreat would have been shattered. There were some people who were talking during the afternoon break and it was jarring and unwelcome. I can go to a coffee shop and hear chatter; why must these people break the noble silence with their chatter?

Not talking and not making eye contact moved this from being a situation where I didn't know anyone or have any friends, which I didn't, to a completely personal and internal weekend where I could focus on my own needs, my own growth and my own dimensions. It was about me and my growth only.

We did eight 24-minute long meditations. Twice, two of these were back-to-back, with only a couple minutes in between to stretch and then we were back on the cushion for another 24-minute meditation. As a person who has struggled for 30 years to meditate regularly, to spend that much time in silent meditation was less of a challenge than I would have thought.

Buddhism gives many tips for how to corral our wandering thoughts. This weekend, our thoughts were likened to wild horses and entering into meditation, we had to call the horses into the corral and shut the gate. Our thoughts have also been compared to sand in a bottle of water that has been shaken. The sand fills the bottle and floats in the water. The process of meditation is just that ability to let the sand settle to the bottom. It's not gone, it's just allowed to settle for a time.

This is something I want to pursue. A retreat at a monastery has taken top place of my list of things to do this year. The ambiance, the solitude, the beauty, and the discipline of a retreat at a monastery would help keep me focused, on task, single minded, and eventually, able to corral my wild horses. It is what I seek more than anything.

Thank you, God.