There are times I want to go and times I don't. This applies to many things; movies, shopping, road trips, camping and anywhere else that requires leaving my home. I'm just a homebody. Even though my days are often dull by other people's standards, I like my days, I'm satisfied with life and getting up in the morning is usually okay by me.
I wonder if death is like a shopping trip. Is death something that sometimes you are ready for and sometimes you aren't? Is there a time in life when you feel you've had enough of this plane and are ready to move to the next one? I don't mean being ready in the sense that I am sick of it here, or wanting to die just to get away from situations or people that I don't like. I mean ready in that I've accomplished everything I would hope to accomplish and I know deep within that my mission here has been accomplished.
I can't imagine being ready to go. Not at this point. I don't fear death; my beliefs are such that I don't feel the end is the end; the end, rather, is just a portal to another level. Even so, for the most part, I like it here. I like my coffee in the morning, and watching Frasier at night. I like soaking in the hot tub and camping at the lake. Walking my dogs makes them happy, sometimes it even makes ME happy.
I have heard people in their 80s say that they are ready to go anytime. At what point did they pass that mark that made them decide they were ready? As my body wears out and my memory betrays me, will the lure of gossimer wings beckon? Will the thought of being free of a physical body be more enticing than a fresh pot of coffee?
I think at some point, I probably will be ready. For now, I enjoy good health, good finances, good friends and the freedom to enjoy my days as I choose. Down the road a ways, things may change, but for now, I still have fears to walk through, lessons to learn and karma to work off. I think I'll stick around for now. Put on a pot of coffee.
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